Confidence

Confidence your way!

April 30, 2016
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Confidence through Style

Do you know people who are lacking in confidence? Would you like to improve your own confidence?

The feeling of confidence can be an elusive one… confidence means different things to different people. I can have confidence in my friends which means I trust them. If a document or medical information is confidential then only trusted people are allowed to see it.

When we say a person has confidence we think they exude some magical quality or other that allows them to stand up and be seen without fear. But I believe that magical quality is trust in themselves and THAT is something that can be developed.

Thinking of confidence as trust in yourself might seem a too easy or maybe too hard. It does make you think though… if confidence is simply trusting yourself then there may be a way to develop that trust.

Now don’t mistake confidence for dutch courage or bravado – though you will appear confident unfortunately when the pardon the term – “shit hits the fan” then you fall apart!

I’ve been there in the bravado stage myself. I didn’t realize it though 🙂 and since I’m rebuilt my true self-confidence I’ve figured out one of the biggest steps to confidence.

Know you are not alone

Everyone is unique and has their own take on things.

Now, for a long time I believed that my nearest and dearest should understand me and support me doing all the unique things I do like singing jazz music and chanting when I meditate 🙂 The problem was, they really didn’t understand and though they supported me from time to time, it wasn’t consistent.

So, I had to find a new clan of people who so understand. To find them I had to be brave. I had to own my heart’s desires. Instead of saying “I do some singing” – I would say “I’m a jazz singer and I’m hoping to sing more for events”.

When I do workshops I manage to get a group together with something in common – that could be a love of style or even singing (my other speciality). Maybe you could come to a workshop or sign up for a class in anything you would love – pottery or painting, horse-riding or creative writing. Go! Meet new people and find your clan for all the things you love to do.

There are people just like you who have a similar take on life or music or even spirituality. Once you find those people your confidence will soar! You are not alone!

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More About Me

April 15, 2016
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Smirk Blue Dress Aideen

Each person’s self-expression is completely unique and special – mine includes singing jazz music and chanting as I meditate… that’s just me! 🙂

Confident Self-Expression

When I was about 12 years old I came across my mothers Colour Me Beautiful book and from then on I hoped to become an image consultant and help people find the colours that suited them. I already had an eye for colour and I knew that my school uniform, with it’s royal blue sweater, looked quite good on me. I even wore it during my summer holidays sometimes! Weird, I know! The only fashion influences on me during my childhood were from the TV and I was fascinated by films like Flashdance, Dirty Dancing and Pretty in Pink. You can see how those movies influenced some of my favourite looks from way back then by clicking here.

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So, many years later I got my chance to train with a wonderful Image Consultant, Joan Cashman, who is an award winning stylist based in Cork. Then, I was lucky enough to work in the Colour Me Beautiful head office in Dublin with Melanie Power for four years doing Colour, Style and Personal Shopping. I loved my time working as a Colour Me Beautiful Consultant, I feel blessed to have worked with the best in the business for many years and really appreciated all their guidance and support and I take all that experience with me into my own image consulting.

Mind you for me it’s not about creating an image – it’s about boosting your confidence and expressing the real you through style! If that’s something you would like then get in touch with me 🙂

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Big Magic

November 27, 2015
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You may remember the movie Eat, Pray, Love?? Where Julia Roberts played a journalist called Elizabeth Gilbert? And she took a SOUL searching journey to Italy, India and Bali?

Well… she DID find her “soul”!

I recently met Elizabeth Gilbert after her lecture in Liberty Hall in Dublin on Thanksgiving Day this year and experienced her “soul” first hand! What a privilege and honour. Her latest book is called Big Magic and the lecture to launch it was a treat for all who attended. It’s about honouring your own creativity and moving past fear. I laughed and welled up with tears at different points as the evening went on… and her soul touched mine.

I FEEL her soul when I listen to her TED talks and when I read her thoughts on her Facebook page and in her books. She means what she says and says what she means! When anyone speaks from their heart and lives according to their own true values and beliefs then we all feel it. You know what I mean… that moment when someone looks at you and really SEES you, when their voice has the power to move you to tears or laughter as they speak their truth? You do know it. Don’t you?

By tuning into your own soul, you might find that YOU have a wish… like a wish to write a poem or do something fun, or even take a bath. Please listen to that wish and find a way to make it come true!! I believe that taking some small action today makes those bigger dreams come true over time. We fulfill our OWN dreams and the mistake we sometimes make is hoping someone else will do it for us and we allow our fears to slow us down and sometimes stop our self expression completely.

Elizabeth Gilbert is an expert on this topic and her new book BIG MAGIC is all about making your creativity and self expression part of your daily life. She speaks about how to bring your fears along with you, holding Fear’s hand, reassuring it and reminding it that the actions you are taking creatively are not so dangerous as Fear may believe.

Fear definitely used to hold ME back! Big time!

In fact I’ve only recently started to look it in the eye and say – I hear you, I’ll consider what you say and then I’m going to go ahead and take action anyway. And it’s worth it because fear was standing in the way of my deepest wishes and my soul’s expression.

My only wish in life now is to just be me but I used to think that my singing was my wish. But singing only matters when my heart is in it, so the goal is less about doing singing and more about singing when my very soul is BURSTING out of it’s seams to sing out. The goal is SOUL. Maybe the goal is PURE SOUL! Or even Pure Soul Style 🙂

And now Pure Soul Style has a new honorary ambassador in Elizabeth Gilbert – she searched for her soul and now she doesn’t just express it but she also encourages us to do the same. She has spoken out for creativity and self expression (dare I say it “soul” expression”) for it’s own sake… So, will you take 10 minutes to experience the joy of doing or making because YOU love it even if no one else ever does? Are you up for the challenge!? Let’s all do something creative today!

Click here to buy her book!

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On authenticity – being the REAL you!

October 17, 2015
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Authenticity – An interview with Sile Walsh…

I was always a bit of a dreamer in life. I read lots of books as a child and later I used meditation and positive thinking to escape from life. These were simply coping strategies for me when I didn’t have faith in myself.

But the challenge is… how to become stronger and to live life according to your own values instead of everyone elses? How do you become authentic???

When I met Sile Walsh, I met a kindred spirit – she is the author of Self-Care, an Authentic Journey and she is Life & Business Coach based in Cork where she focuses on authenticity and self-care with her clients.

When I invited Sile to New Ross to interview her for my Pure Soul Style blog, I had no idea how much I would personally learn from that interview. In fact when I listened to it a few weeks later, I had even more “aha!” moments that helped me see my own “authentic” self in a new way.

In the interview we chat about what authenticity really is and about both of our personal stories around being true to ourselves. Sile also reveals tips to recognise when you are acting out of a wish to please others instead of being authentic. The interview is 33.33 mins long but I promise that if you take the time to listen in you will be glad you did…

Click here to hear this wonderful interview with Sile Walsh “On Authenticity”

I would love to find out your story about finding and expressing your authentic self and if you have a different perspective on this I would love to hear it too. Contact me on 089-9829914 or [email protected] Also, check out www.silewalsh.com for Sile’s blog and her fabulous book on Self-Care.

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Group Style Workshops

May 1, 2015
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Comments Closed

Group Style Workshops

“Thank you, Aideen, for all your helpful advice. You are very approachable and I found it very empowering. I’m excited about putting all your advice into practice.” Ber Fawsitt, Cork

group of four happy young adult women out of shopping with colored bags

This is for you if you want to:

  • Enjoy a fun workshop with your friends or workmates
  • See what really suits you
  • Boost your confidence
  • Save time and money shopping

 

 

Covers:

  • Choose colours that suit your life, your personality and your colouring
  • Secrets to enhancing your body shape through fabric, colour and accessories
  • Express your personality through what you wear
  • Tips on make-up
  • How to Feng Shui your wardrobe and your style
  • Learn about body language and good posture

Every style workshop is different… your workshop is an interactive experience that is tailored to the needs of the group.

“The workshop was really helpful in balancing my colours, personality and self-expression with mini-tweaks and simply using what I already have effectively. I am so excited about what to wear in the upcoming weeks.” Sile Walsh, Cork

Call me on 089-9829914 or email [email protected] for info

 

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Style Camouflage

June 19, 2014
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Have you ever used your clothes to hide? To blend in? To remain unseen?green caterpillar

In the animal kingdom camouflage helps an animal stay hidden and unseen. Like a worm blends into the soil so it can avoid being eaten by birds. So, it seems reasonable to think humans do something similar with style camouflage.

Things can happen that we weren’t expecting and times can be tough. So, we may be just trying to get through those days when the sun doesn’t seem to be shining. That’s when we might be better off to lie low and avoid everyone. Maybe even stay in your PJs all day!

But that isn’t the only way to hide…

Imagine a teen aged girl going out with friends who are wearing the latest and shortest dresses out there. Is she wearing the same thing to look older or dare I say it, sexier? Or is she avoiding being different? Is she hoping that by blending in that she won’t be seen or noticed at all?

I have a confession to make.  I tended to want to stand out and look great no matter what I was doing. I thought it might inspire others and I felt good looking good.

BUT then my life turned a corner that I wasn’t expecting…

… and I literally started to deliberately hide. I was living in London and instead of trying to be my usual well-groomed self – I started wearing loose tracksuits and no make-up. That continued until my confidence started to recover several months later.

So, what is your look doing for you?? Is it helping you to hide?

I certainly won’t judge you – maybe you need to hide because of the circumstances you live in. But I hope that you can have fun dressing up sometime soon too.

Here’s a poem from Shel Silverstein that says it all in a few lines:

“If you’re a bird, be an early bird

And catch the worm for your breakfast plate.

If you’re a bird be an early bird

But if you’re a worm… sleep late.”

For more on caterpillar camouflage check out: http://elizabethssecretgarden.blogspot.ie/2009/12/cloudless-sulphur-caterpillar.html

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Unrealistic Expectations

May 2, 2014
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How a Barbie compares to the average 19 year old girl in the USA by Nickolay Lamm. Nickolay Lamm took it upon himself to discover what a Barbie doll would look like, based on the average 19-year-old American girl: 163.3 cm height, 85.4 cm waist, 35.8 cm upper arm length, 36.7 cm upper leg length. The data is provided… Read More »

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No more Miss Nice Girl

April 12, 2014
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The Native Americans believed that a photo could steal your soul…

I don’t know if there is any truth in that… but I do believe that we can give our power away to others quite easily especially if we don’t have faith in ourselves.

Our parents spent years letting us know we need to obey them and our teachers. So much so, that we learn to LIKE the comfort of following someone else’s lead. Someone who always seems to know better than us.

But they don’t know everything!

My story

My career plan as a teenager included dancing or acting or singing. My poor guidance teacher didn’t know what to think… and her suggestion that I consider nursing or teaching fell on deaf ears.

Though I auditioned and was accepted to acting school, I was convinced to go to University instead by my Dad. I did take dancing and singing classes in the evenings for a while but then one comment from my singing teacher stopped me in my tracks.

Mr Smolenski innocently told me that my voice wouldn’t be fully developed until my 30’s so I decided to just give it up!! Crazy or what!

In my thirties I did go back to singing, studied Jazz music, recorded a demo and started to gig in some clubs in Dublin. But again in a moment of self-doubt, I went to a trusted friend who told me to give it up and join a choir. I auditioned for a couple of choir but didn’t get in and gave up music for another 3 years…

Are you seeing the trend here???

Yes, my lack of confidence meant I listened more to other people than to myself. But despite the lack of support I keep coming back to doing music which must mean something. It was like an itch that I just had to scratch!

I’m so glad I’ve learned from those mistakes finally! Now I gather my thoughts and steel my resolve to be able to fight for the life I want even if no one else really “gets” it.

If you need to believe in yourself more just remember that no one else can live your life for you. Watch this GREAT trailer for inspiration too.

“No more Miss Nice Girl” – as Matilda says in the trailer below 🙂

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