Know thyself

Confidence your way!

April 30, 2016
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Confidence through Style

Do you know people who are lacking in confidence? Would you like to improve your own confidence?

The feeling of confidence can be an elusive one… confidence means different things to different people. I can have confidence in my friends which means I trust them. If a document or medical information is confidential then only trusted people are allowed to see it.

When we say a person has confidence we think they exude some magical quality or other that allows them to stand up and be seen without fear. But I believe that magical quality is trust in themselves and THAT is something that can be developed.

Thinking of confidence as trust in yourself might seem a too easy or maybe too hard. It does make you think though… if confidence is simply trusting yourself then there may be a way to develop that trust.

Now don’t mistake confidence for dutch courage or bravado – though you will appear confident unfortunately when the pardon the term – “shit hits the fan” then you fall apart!

I’ve been there in the bravado stage myself. I didn’t realize it though 🙂 and since I’m rebuilt my true self-confidence I’ve figured out one of the biggest steps to confidence.

Know you are not alone

Everyone is unique and has their own take on things.

Now, for a long time I believed that my nearest and dearest should understand me and support me doing all the unique things I do like singing jazz music and chanting when I meditate 🙂 The problem was, they really didn’t understand and though they supported me from time to time, it wasn’t consistent.

So, I had to find a new clan of people who so understand. To find them I had to be brave. I had to own my heart’s desires. Instead of saying “I do some singing” – I would say “I’m a jazz singer and I’m hoping to sing more for events”.

When I do workshops I manage to get a group together with something in common – that could be a love of style or even singing (my other speciality). Maybe you could come to a workshop or sign up for a class in anything you would love – pottery or painting, horse-riding or creative writing. Go! Meet new people and find your clan for all the things you love to do.

There are people just like you who have a similar take on life or music or even spirituality. Once you find those people your confidence will soar! You are not alone!

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Head first!

April 22, 2014
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Figuring what your next step is can sometimes seem overwhelming especially if you’re in a situation that you’re not too happy about right now.

The urge to move away from an unpleasant situation can be a strong motivation and it could make you do something impulsive… and me too…

But be careful!

If you don’t have something to move towards you could find yourself moving into a more difficult situation. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, as they say.

Socrates said “Know yourself” and he said “To find yourself, think for yourself”.

Seeing your “bulls-eye” is essential to hitting it. Just think about it. If you can’t see what you’re aiming for… how can you achieve it?

My Story

Being a dreamer has led me into some uncomfortable situations. I have always been brilliant at jumping head first without thinking or planning.

Case in point when I went to live in San Francisco for a year. I left a difficult work situation at home and headed off – full of the joys of spring and lots of optimism but very little money. I was sure success would fall into my lap.

So, being locked out of work because the company went bust and then working in a windowless basement office of one of the tallest sky scrapers in San Francisco was not part of the plan.

Even though I learned a tough lesson when life in San Francisco was so challenging, I still do my best to see the positives in all my decisions.

Though it took me a while, I realised that going to San Francisco was hugely beneficial. I studied Speech Level Singing there which completely transformed my singing from using a traditional choral sound that was drummed into me in our school choir to sounding more natural and more me… 🙂

So, in order to have no regrets I take the lesson on the chin, resolve to do better next time and move on a little wiser than before.

So, how about using your head first and checking into what you would like to do rather than jumping in head first?

Because this has been a genuine difficulty of mine, I have come up with a short checklist to help me make my decisions wiser and to help me think for myself… and hopefully know myself better than ever…

  1. Ask why. Check what I am feeling now and how I want to feel…
  2. Ask what. What am I moving away from and what am I moving towards…
  3. Ask how. What are the alternatives to my first impulsive reaction…
  4. Ask when. How will the timing of the decision and the action affect the outcome…
  5. Ask who. Who will be affected by your choice and how…

So, here’s to knowing yourself…and thinking for yourself… Good Luck!

© Aideen Reidy & Real Girl Confidence. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Aideen Reidy & Real Girl Confidence with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

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